“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Jalauddin Rumi
It’s fascinating to sometimes look back in time. To see how we change over time, How our perceptions change, and how we perceive others as well as ourselves changes.
If I look back, may be the last 10 years of my life.. Why 10 years? Because this is how long I have been here in the United Kingdom. I was not even 25 when I moved into this country (Oops! Did I just give away my age?), so it will help me see things in perspective, especially in terms of my surroundings and the wider setting. As a young girl, I moved with these dreams, hope and aspirations – aspirations not just for myself, but also for my partner and for us as a family.
These long ten years, I have accumulated an incredible amount of treasure in terms of relationships and friendships I have built over time, the beautiful memories that are captured in my heart forever.
This country is a ‘land of opportunities’ as I call it and I am very lucky to see us grow professionally but more essentially as individuals. In this 10 year journey, I have realised how self-perception can help in self-improvement. It took me time to understand the significance of how we perceive ourselves rather than how others see us. Don’t such questions pop into our minds all the time ‘How would he/she feel..’ or ‘’what would they do if’, ‘should I or should I not..’, ‘what would they think of me..’ or may be ‘what if they think I did this because..’
All this only made my life more complicated as I was not being the real ‘me’ but was trying to adapt too much and too often. It took me a long time to assess and understand why I felt like that and to answer the question ‘what would have actually happened if I did or did not do certain things or basically conform to the standards of a particular clan?’
In this time, I came across a lot of people and while I moved on from many relationships, I also formed some beautiful relationships which I hope will only become stronger with each passing year. This transition has taught me to perceive myself in a different light, I acknowledge my limitations and weaknesses and this has helped me become more honest to myself and also tuned my perception of my ‘real’ self. I now realize my limitations, I recognize when to seek help and advice (from friends and family) and I also find the courage in me to assert myself in situations where I believe I need to.
Life is never easy with its ups and downs and I always wonder what helped me instil this positive change through such times of ‘good and bad’ or ‘happy and sad’. A few things come to my mind that I certainly owe it to. These are the love and support of my family, my current friendships and relationships, and the professional world I belong to. The love of my family who believed in me and in my view of the world helped me cope up with certain reservations I had and to come out from challenging situations. In this time, I have also progressed through my career in hard core ‘Human Resources’ where I deal with people from different cultures on a day to day basis. Dealing with people from around the world and handling complex situations with varying priorities in a calm and mature fashion has certainly helped me put things in perspective while dealing with them. Last but not the least, the love and kindness of my ‘special friends’ who can even hear me when I am quiet, who are never short of inspiring me, who have not hesitated to tell me when I am wrong or I need to do things differently, helped me change my perception about myself and that of the life in general.
So, what has changed?
I am happier, I am less anxious to change and I can let go more easily. I am a human and I am prone to to making mistakes and may not be ‘perfect’ every single time but at least I try to be more reasonable when I am being judged or questioned- it helps me review and assess if I am on the right path or do I need to tweak or modify my current approach or way of living.
It’s not something that can be achieved in a day, but, here’s a tip you can use right away: Think ‘what you are doing’, ‘why you are doing it’, and ‘does it resonate with your true self’.
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